Thursday, January 30, 2014
The Stay At Home Mom Presumption In Response To Amy Glass
There has been a bloggers post all over the internet entitled "I Look Down On Young Women With Husbands And Kids And I'm Not Sorry" and it is written by a blogger named Amy Glass. I have been asked by a few people my response to her article as she basically slams stay at home moms the most, but also anyone who would want to have kids and a husband.
Oh, Amy Glass, where to start. First of all, I understand where you are coming from and I am sorry for you. I was once there. If you had asked me five years ago if I would be a stay at home mom, I would have said "NO WAY!" Although I always planned on kids I understood how great it was (or so I thought) to be childless and free to really be yourself and make a difference. You lived by your own rules and did your own thing. You are celebrating your life and accomplishments.
You say in your article "Do people really think that a stay at home mom is really on equal footing with a woman who works and takes care of herself?" to this I respond that most of us "stay at home moms" that you are referring to have already done all that, we have been doctors, lawyers, have degrees, some of us still fit in our work while we are at home. In fact I am doing more now then ever and helping to take care of a husband and son as well. You see I used what I learned being single and alone, and brought the good things, into my marriage and my family. So I am you plus two! I am free to be myself all the time and unconditionally loved and celebrated for it. Everyday I know I at least make a difference in two people's lives if not more. Believe it or not I not only live by my own rules I make the rules of my entire household, so perhaps you are correct Amy Glass I do not believe you and "stay at home moms" are on the same equal footing, I believe we are much higher.
Amy Glass seems to have a big problem with celebrations she seems to mention a lot that she is unable to celebrate woman who go on trips alone or get new promotions, yet we can celebrate marriages and baby showers and those are things every woman can do. First of all, who needs a reason for celebration? I celebrated a snow day the other day. Secondly, I believe all those things a woman can do. In fact I have landed a dream job three times, got many promotions, got married, had a child and did not backpack through Asia but studied in Europe for two months so I think that counts. In all those occasions I celebrated because that is what life is, an endless supply of possibilities and celebrations. It is sad, that you, Amy Glass, are missing them all.
She also asks in this article a question, "Why are we settling for average?" I cannot help but wonder who is settling for average? Certainly not this stay at home mom. In fact I consider my life amazing and above average. Why would I work when I can be home everyday with my family and be a teacher, chef, babysitter, writer, maid, editor, blogger, dog walker, party planner, friend, neighbor, wife and mother and living everyday with an amazingly above average life. I think average is having to work 9-5pm all day 40 hours a week, thinking you are making a difference , when really you are missing the bigger picture. My family and I don't settle for an average life and I know many other families who don't either.
Lastly, which I think is the saddest part of her article is when she says "You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids". I feel so sorry for Amy Glass here. What people who do not have children (by choice) miss is when you have a great husband and kids they bring out the exceptional you much faster and easier then you can do on your own. In turn, you also bring out the exceptional in them, creating a family that promotes bringing love to everyone they come in contact with. That is why I am a stay at home mom, because I know time is our currency and in order to maximize my time I want to spend it with exceptional people who make me above average and able to live an amazing life.