Thursday, August 8, 2013

The Wedding With A Toddler

My adorable date, Xavier and I

  If you have been following my posts this week we have a theme of our vacation last week to upstate New York for my dad and new step-mom's wedding. (To catch the posts you can click these, The Coolest Small Town, Road Trip With A Toddler, Review: Britax Roundabout 55 Convertible Car Seat).
  Today I am writing about the main part of this trip, in fact the main reason for the trip (though we regularly go up there in the summer to visit anyway) which was the wedding of my father to my new step-mom, Angie.
    Every wedding is special and full of love, but this wedding was extra special for all of us who were either involved or attended it. You see if you do not know me,  my mother passed away in 2009 from Leukemia. My sister and I were blessed to have a wonderful childhood and what little adulthood we had with our parents. There was nothing left unsaid when my mom died, no "I wishes" or "what ifs". Something few people can say in their life.
   Did you know that when it comes to families there are two main types of families, a nuclear family and an extended family? Your nuclear family are who you mainly live with. They have two parental units and then the kids and pets. Your extended family are your parents, grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins.  When you leave home and usually go start your own life you are essentially starting your own new nuclear family. Mine consisted of a cat at first then, it started to grow. When you lose someone from either of your families the entire family is shaken and has a hard time finding out how to function as a new type of family. I was engaged to Nick and right at the start of starting my own nuclear family and leaving my current one when my mom passed away. It was hard for my dad, sister and I to readjust to our new family. I think for the longest time we all knew something was missing. There was just more love to give and more vibrancy needed back.
    Then, a friend of my mom and dad's introduced my dad to this wonderful woman named, Angie. I think if my mom could have picked another wife for my dad she would have picked Angie. Angie is a wonderful addition to our family. She has brought us another new and vibrant family unit and we are forever grateful that she has decided to spend the rest of her life with our dad.

My dad and Angie happily married

    So to my new step-mom, Angie, a big WELCOME TO OUR FAMILY! We could not be happier that you and my father are so happy and in love together and that we get to spend lots of fun times with you and I am so happy you are going to be the grandmother to my children. Congratulations to my dad and Angie on their wedding. We wish you a long lifetime of happiness and love.

Me, Angie, Dad and my sister, Marla

The Toddler At the Wedding
  I thought today's post should be in two parts. One celebrating the beauty of love and joining of families and another warning other parents NOT to take a toddler to a wedding and if you must here's some tips.
   Xavier was expected to be at the wedding. He was the ring bearer. We had even bought him a cute set of dress pants, button shirt and tie. We knew we would have our hands full as Nick was ministering the ceremony and DJing the wedding, I was helping him with the music for the ceremony since he had to be up front.
   Friday's rehearsal went really well. Xavier was throwing a tantrum and did not want to participate. We figured it was because we had just got there the day before. So I shrugged it off and figured he would be feeling better the next day. Plus, he was just walking with another cousin holding his hand and he regularly did that anyway. Nick did great ministering and I was thankful to be able to see my dad and Angie practice their vows together.
    Saturday came and everyone spent the entire day watching the sky. It was overcast. Plus, it was raining on and off all day. Sometimes a sprinkle, sometimes a pour. We did not know how this beach wedding was going to happen at, it was going to be either the beach or the reception hall. Finally at 4:30pm we decided we were doing the beach. It was only sprinkling and we were hoping perhaps people would not mind. We put out the arbor, table for sands of time, and portable speaker and announced the wedding was happening right now before it rained anymore. It was a beautiful sight to see everyone getting out of their cars with their different arrays of colored umbrellas. The procession started beautifully as I finally figured out the mp3 and speaker I had never worked before. Then, as Xavier was supposed to walk down the aisle holding his cousin's hand he threw himself on the ground and started crying. I was somewhat prepared for this to happen so I scooped him up real fast and was holding his hand while I continued working the mp3 player and speaker.
   Then, the moment when the beautiful bride was about to come down the aisle I could not figure out why my beautiful violin version of "Here Comes The Bride" was not working, until I looked down and I was holding Xavier's arm and with his free arm he was turning all the knobs on the amplifier. As a result of whipping his hands off it and fixing the music the bride graciously and beautifully walked down the aisle and to her right on the side a toddler was throwing himself on the ground crying because he could not play with the speaker. I quickly scooped him up again and was able to hold him until the end of the ceremony and I hoped that no one really noticed him.

Me dancing with my nephew, Jimmy

      I was wrong on that fact when at the reception someone came up to us and said "so you are the cutie who threw the tantrum as the bride was walking down the aisle!". I guess I was not as stealth as I thought. Xavier was miserable at the reception. He would not go to anyone except Nick and I. The amount of people and noise was too overwhelming for him. Even his usual great appetite was nonexistent. So Nick and I both just danced with him. As he loved music and dancing in mom and dads arms. Needless to say our arms got a good work out that night. At nine o'clock one hour past normal bedtime he had had enough and I decided to take him home.

Dad and I dancing at his wedding


1) DON'T unless you have to, they do not find it as much fun as you.

2) Bring your own food. Juggling two plates and waiting on staff is too stressful to try to feed your little one. Bring items you usually have on hand and quickly.

3) Bring a comfortable change of clothes. Even though Xavier looked adorable dressed up I could tell he was not comfortable. Changing him into shorts and a tee-shirt made a huge difference and at least bought me an extra hour of happiness.

4) Know their limits.  You know what your child does and does not like and how long you can push back their bedtime. Stick to your instincts they will do you well!

5) Good luck! Make sure to have your partner or someone whom your child loves with you so that you can share the responsibility and still have fun!

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