Thursday, August 22, 2013

The Stay At Home Mom

   As you have probably read over the course of my blogs, I merely chose being a stay at home mom due the result that after finding out I was pregnant I was laid off from my job. Not just laid off they closed the entire building of over four hundred people so there was no going back.
    I believe there are a lot of pluses and minuses to each choice, be it staying home or working. There are also a lot of in between choices, such as parents working different shifts, one parent working part time, or one parent working at home.
    Since I enjoy writing it has immensely helped me be a stay at home mom because I feel I still have an outlet that is just for me.
     Many people wonder and ask me what I do all day long. That is actually a really hard thing to answer as no day is the same. This is a fly by the seat of your pants type job.For instance yesterday, I had jury duty. Nick had to take care of Xavier for the day. Luckily, he can sometimes do some work at home.
   As I got dressed up and up early and headed out to the courthouse. I tried to think of it as a day of work. A day doing work that I do not usually do. I tried to imagine what it would be like to do this everyday and not be a stay at home mom.
    I am not going to go into the specifics of jury duty but, I did appreciate the dressing up. I do not lay around the house in pajamas, but there is no since in dressing nice with a toddler, the worst I wear is jogging pants and a tea shirt on the best stay at home days you may see me in a light skirt and tank top. However, as I pondered my day I could not help but wish I was home with Xavier. It was crazy, as it was only one day, and who wants to sit in jury duty? However, I missed his little smile our, little games and our little routine. Who am I kidding I missed nap time! Yes, I sometimes nap when he does and I am not ashamed to admit it.
     I am glad that I appreciated that so much. Just getting away for a day and trying another life. I came home to be with my son and happily had a wonderful evening. I woke up the next morning full of happiness and excited with new things to do with Xavier and new things to try at home. Only to be woken up to an extremely grumpy toddler who is getting his molars in and is completely miserable. Two attempts at his morning nap and he had finally gone down for a nap.
    That is what a stay at home mom does for her family, she is there. I am there to help, to pick up, to make sure everyone is happy, fed, healthy and comfortable. Including our pets as well. It is no easy accomplishment. However, I will not say it is always hard either. As all jobs it has it's ups and downs. There are days when things are incredibly wonderful. Where we have wonderful mealtimes, play games, discover new things, I squeeze in some writing and maybe we even redecorate something in the house and plan a nice dinner with dad. There are also days where we struggle to nap, where he whines and throws himself on the floor in tantrums because he is over tired, over stimulated, or just plain bored. No matter what toys I pull out or what activities I do do not seem to work. He does not want to eat because his teeth hurts and sometimes all I do is sit and hold and rock him for the majority of the day. Those days are hard. It does always cross my mind "what have I signed on to be?" but then I think about if I was not here and if Nick was not here. My Xavier would have to go through all this by himself and that is not what we want for our child.
    We have willingly sacrificed our lives for his. When you are a stay at home parent you lose a lot of liberties. For one, we only have one car. It is small and if we go very far we cannot fit all three of us and Vito, our black lab. Money is always tight. We do not have family nearby so scheduling doctor appointments or even a night out is a huge inconvenience. However, I know for Nick and I we would not trade this for the world. We know that at some point in our life. We will have two cars again, time together again, and plenty of fun adult toys again. However, even if we never get there I am happy to say that I am grateful and blessed to be where we are right now. I am happy with our one car, because it saves me from having to run errands with a toddler which I am not fond of. I am happy that we are tight on money, because it makes it that much sweeter every time we save a dollar or receive a dollar. I wish our family was closer to us (hint hint, dad and Angie) however, I believe this has brought our little nuclear family closer together and it has made me a very strong woman and mother. I have pushed myself to the brink and came back perfectly fine and with a very good, close, intelligent, happy and loving family as well.
    You hear it all the time and a thousand times a day if you are pregnant or if you have a baby. Time goes by really fast. There is only so much time for you to be with your little ones. Try to make the best out of every situation and try to have patience as they are learning and so are you. Put the time and effort into children when they are young and you will reap the rewards when they are older.
    I am sad that our society put pregnant women on pedestals, yet once a child is born they are left on the sidelines. To try to figure out parenthood on their own. That is sometimes good to develop your family with your partner, but as a society, generally people look down on people with children.
   Think of it, most people hate to be on a plane with kids, in a car with kids, seated at a table near kids. Our motto is that children should be seen and not heard. I think that is a sad motto. Even the more kids a family has the more they are usually looked at with disdain and instead it should be celebrated.
      I am not saying you should spoil children, but teach your children manners, respect, and empathy. Teach them to be wonderful members of society so that the next time they are in a restaurant with other people, people are impressed with your children. After all your children are the adults of tomorrow. The adults that will be running our country and our world while we are aging adults who need to be cared for. Remember how you cared for your little one as one day you will want them to do the same for you.
   Remember that children are not a right, not a gift, they are a blessing that you have been chosen to have. Cherish those blessings, and teach them the way of the world so that one day they can fly with their wings and make a difference. The most important thing to teach them is gratitude and love, if they have that in their hearts they will most definitely not only fly with their wings but they will soar!

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