Thursday, February 7, 2013

Mom Wars





  
     Unlike normally when I usually am filled with things to write about, I have to admit due to the loss we had this week (See A Great Loss) it has been hard for me to find things to write about.  I frequently read many parenting/baby articles, blogs, news, etc. Not just because of Xavier but also because it is what interests me and what I write about. If you ever want to know what is new in the world of babies and parenting just ask, most likely I will know. So I wanted to write about a topic that I think affects particularly a lot of moms. I try to keep my posts always gender friendly however, I think this really is just in the world of moms.
    If you have read many parenting articles lately you will notice there is a Mom War that apparently is going on. Many moms push onto other moms their parenting tips, tricks and unsolicited advice. Some even bully other moms out of play circles if their child is not like the other kids in how they are parented. Particularly, hot Mom War topics are breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, co-sleeping vs. crib sleeping, etc. I have to admit I am sad but not surprised that this exists.
   Females have been beating each other up since the stone age. I for one have no idea why. When we are little all we want is another female best friend to share things with. Then, as we get older, we end up tormenting that best friend or backstabbing and hurting her feelings. We gossip behind our friends' backs, we talk about them to others. Apparently, we now even make fun of our friends' parenting decisions and decide not to include her and her child in our play groups.
    Come on women? Is this really what we should impart onto our children? I think it is very sad that Moms do this. I realize it is probably due to the fact that you have low self esteem and really question your parenting decisions, but there are other ways to make yourself feel better then to put other moms down. We have to rise above the Mom Wars. We have to teach our children better. We have to be able to share our different parenting ideas and tricks and embrace each others differences. We have to realize that at the end of the day every child is different and every mom knows what is best for their child. The next time you are with a mom, especially a new mom, please make sure to compliment her on something I'm sure she could use the good feedback instead of thinking what she is doing wrong.
    After reading these Mom War articles I am proud to say that for the most part I have not run into this in my daily life. I hope we are starting a new standard for how moms treat each other. I have many friends who parent different then I and we embrace each other and still are able to talk about what works best for each of us. Parenting is all about finding what works best for your family. There is no real right and wrong. I am glad that many of the moms that I know support each other and help each other. I'm sure there is not a mom out there that doesn't need more support and help. Come on you next generation of moms let us set a better example!

   

4 comments:

  1. When I read your title I thought I was going to have to come kick some butt! Love You.

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  2. I agree with every word you said. Moms should realize that every child is different. What works for your child may not work for others. You can't just jump in and tell a mom that what she's doing is right or wrong because she knows what's best for her child and what works best for the both of them. Yes, you may give a piece of advice but don't push it if they don't want to do it and please, say it in a more gentle way--we don't know if that mom is already having a pretty bad day and things just might get worse.. Thanks for sharing this! :)

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  3. Thanks for the insight Janet! It would be so much better for all moms if we learned how to speak to each other without putting each other down.

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  4. It's all about the tone of voice you use and the way you say things sometimes. I feel like when giving advice it should be in the kindest tone possible. If you are too harsh about it then it loses its value of being constructive.

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